Last night…

While sitting in the living room, after moving the furniture around, I decided to sit and view the sun going down, as it descended down behind the ridge and the mountain. The sky was blue and then it turned into an effervescent pink with clouds that moved eastward. It really was a pretty sunset, and from the new angle of where I put the furniture, getting some of it out of the direct sun, it seemed like a great vista, a new view, even though I have been here awhile. Just changing one thing a few days ago, (getting rid of a ratty old couch and a table that was too big for the room added space, which gave me untold mental space too). I sat very still as I watched how the sliver of a moon, a crescent moon, suddenly appeared in the middle of the sky above the ridge.

I could hear the coyotes howling on the hill. Sometimes they ran closer and then retreated; I guess they were chasing something…Then there was silence… I was reading a good book… and later I heard these really strange little yips below my window… It was very unusual sound and I saw a shadow moving down along the driveway, in a cagey way… the coyote was hunting something down the alleyway. He was trying to make something come out of its hiding place, by yipping so, and howling in a low to high pitch howl and whine. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, but I realized that I was one story up, but the pressure sensitive howl gave me something to think about. I got up to secure the doors and windows, because I have heard that coyotes have been known to climb trees to get at their goal. It was a strange noise that I heard, but it moved along because nothing else moved in the shadows. The next day, I compared notes with my friends that live along side me, and they too heard the baying while it was far away, but they didn’t know what the noise was that sneaked along down our driveway. We all thought it was eery but we realized that food for the coyote is tight, as the deer haven’t been around here much because of the scarcity of water from the days of the drought. Our creek is brackish water that ebbs in with the tide and flows back out to the bay through the sloughs that wend its way to the bay. We are lucky to have rain with winter here now that January is upon us. We all just hoped that coyote would move on and not want to feast on our dogs and cats that live with us…

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A word or two…

My heart waits for a word or two from my friend who is just over the pond, as he makes his rounds to visit his children and all those other children who have been left homeless. He has quite a bit of love to give and support to help each and every one of them grow up, learn and to play sports. He has many children that he provides for, and they all seem to love it when he comes to town. They create little pictures for him, sing songs to him, and play a game of soccer to show off their skills. I know that he has many responsibilities in the care of these children, but also to get them interested in pursuits and to play well as time permits. He is also busy with running his daily life and encouraging everyone he comes into contact with. His spirit is huge because he has a way of uplifting all that he comes into contact with. I know this because he changed me in ways that were subtle at first, but very positive as time went on. I found that I was more conscious of thinking positively, and I was becoming more contentious about my pursuits, and things that I had put off, I was becoming more motivated to tightening up these things and getting more organized. His words every morning were motivational and in time I began to see more about what he was about, even if he lives a life quite far away. I have seen changes in my own thinking, even if only it is in thoughts, it is a positive change. He used to send me motivational inspirations via the cell phone to listen to before bed or in the morning. I listened to them and they echo in my mind as I go about my day. I think back on our talks and what we both want in life, and how fun things can really be. I do wonder and think of where to find my soulmate that loves me so much….

I think of how the world has changed with faster jets, communication through the mobile phones and I marvel at how we can face-time our friends to keep up even more personally. It is a marvelous thing to be able to reach out and call a friend, and even to see them! We are living in an age where communication is a touch away, but also we have to be exact and short with our word-texts because so many more demands of our time exists inside all of these texts. Sometimes it is easier to text rather than take a voice call, as one can multitask in so many ways, while sending off a text. I think that the mobile phone has surpassed most inventions of this century. Before electricity was the single best invention, and then hand in hand, the cell phone has become equally as important. I wonder what next century will bring into existence that people can not live without.

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The World is Shook…

We all lost somebody special, an athlete that we all looked up to for his incredible talent on the ground, on the basketball court and in life. He was agile and quick on his feet and quite the talented master of the baskets and an avid player who just loved to play the game. I didn’t know him personally, but it seemed like we all knew him because of his friendly attitude, as well as his spirit. His personality soared as we all watched from the stands, in our tv rooms and we just followed him from newsrooms to the game, because of his great spirit. He was also personable to anyone he spoke with. We all are giving condolences and tributes to Kobe and his daughter, Gianna, who will be missed by the world as well as his own lovely family.

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A new year, set goals, be ambitious about love and intentions…

I read someone’s post today about the new year, and getting into the space of the time and being diligent to accomplish what one is set out to do and, this was the gist of what I thought he meant by his prose. I also liked that he said something about getting into a quiet space and listening to one’s mind. I took that to mean to listen to one’s mind and to one’s heart. Our minds can think one thing, but it is what’s in our hearts that leads us or pushes us towards a goal.

Lately, I have been distracted by all sorts of things and people and I took some time to myself for the past twenty-seven days to reflect about what was important to me. He said to think about things in his prose. I think quite a lot of what I want, I think in my tranquil space that I call home. I think in my head and I think out loud in my house, as I talk to myself. I talk to my cat quite a lot too. Sometimes it helps to speak one’s thoughts out loud. Sometimes it seems rather silly to be talking to walls that absorb one’s thoughts. I believe that one receives clarity from speaking wishes, wants and ambitious thoughts, even if no one is listening. I think another way that works for me is to write one’s thoughts down, ideas, a timeline for the storyline. These thoughts just to get them down on paper can weave a story. Then to flesh out a time line on paper or verbally into the walls, and even small little ideas can become a goal or a possible story. I thread these goals together which then puts the intention in motion. I also throw my intentions to the universe, to the moon, to the sky, to God, because it seems that when I do this, serendipity happens and I get a call out of the blue from the ones that I love.

With the writing spirit comes change and with change I pray for the good of all. I pray for peace and good health for those that I love, and even for the ones I don’t know, nor have I met them yet. I also pray for the little ones who are needing healthy prayers for their survival. I pray for inspiration and I pray that my ambitions are worthy so that I will accomplish more in my pursuit of writing or illustrating for a new children’s story, while I pray for the one I love.

I pray that I will meet my Prince some day too, even though he might just be a figment of my imagination. Yet, I do believe he exists and that he is out there looking for me too. I believe that he is my soulmate, and that he loves me so much, it is hard to fathom a love that seems viable, yet so distant. Love that can span a lifetime and beyond physical walls, a love that passes through eons of years and spans beyond one’s world and if one can conjure up this kind of love, there must be something in the spiritual waves making me conscious of it. Perhaps it the clarity of listening to my soul, reading prose that conjures up thoughts of ambitions and goals and sets the intentions to be sent to the mysterious beyond that holds the consciousness of real love.

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Where does the writing inspiration come from? Wanting to achieve it, but sometimes no mood to write comes to mind for me. A new year turned over, a new decade has begun, and for the past twenty-seven days, I didn’t sit down to write, without a thought to write, without any inspiration, I didn’t go to my writing desk, as I avoided it, the same as I avoided some people I know, because I didn’t have anything to say. I am inspired today, bit by bit, I managed to get back into my writing space… because I cleared out physical space in my house. I got rid of an old couch, that became a slouch, and I had wanted to be rid of it years ago, but oh no, it was sturdy, it was comfortable, like an old shoe or an old sweater, but it was an eyesore. Sometimes push has to come to shove and one must do as they feel, heartless moves sometimes, but to reclaim one’s space, perhaps giving the couch the heave-ho, on to a better life for the couch, and for me, opening up such a grand space in my living room.

I live in a square house with square rooms and each room is rather small, so with the movement of a bit of space to being freed up, the atmosphere changed in my living room. It also changed something in my brain. So the past few weeks I have been changing up space, hanging pictures on the walls, sorting though hardware that one ends up collecting over the course of years of odds & ends of pieces needed for any and all household projects, from hooks, to string, to screws, to hangers, wires, lint removers, you name it, it was in the kitchen drawers. I sorted all of these things out and placed them into two sorted containers, and sent one box to my daughter so they can add these things into their household projects, since they just bought their first house. One would never know you need all those things, until you are looking for them, and if one is to go to the hardware store, it all adds up rather quickly, and I wanted to save them a bit of money and time running out to the hardware store!! I never knew that so much space was being taken up in the kitchen drawers by all those pieces of house hardware. That led me to thinking about the living room space. Then I saw the space between the couch and the walls and the parlor table and the dining room table. I thought to myself one of those tables must go! I realized I wanted the parlor table, and I didn’t need the dining table because it was exceedingly large for a really small dining room, plus all the super sized leaves. For me, just me in this house, is all I need is a parlor table to sit and eat at. It was amazing to me to be inspired to clearing out some spaces and these little changes gave me the inspiration to rearrange a few drawers, two rooms and then to write about a whole empty living room and empty kitchen drawers. Perhaps letting go of one thing out of the past enabled me to move into the present.

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Dragon wish

Silver stars, silver spurs, silver dragons, silver & crystal, gold & silver jingles, and all the earths best – I think of times in the past that opened up my creativity – never actually knowing what thing led to the next thing, just that it magically happens. My dragon friend, Ziegfried, sits ever so quietly in my office, and having him in here, is calming. His wings spread out about four feet or so from one wing tip to the other… he needs a lot of space. I have never even thought of how much space he requires, but we live in this space both occupying enough space. I have been blessed with his presence, since 2012 when I happened upon him and we took an instant liking to one another, but of course it took quite a bit of time to be able to adopt him. He sat in many rooms of my home, but when I put him in my office, little did I know what he would do once he could energize himself. When the sun light hits his skin and wings, it is a rather majestic and unearthly sight, out of this world divine, such glitter and radiance and a dance of light which seems to have its own energy. When I am at a loss for words, I just look at Ziefried in the morning light or the evening twilight, whose effervescence is exquisite and the words flow to my mind. I suppose what my writing world needs is a little more magic and in those moments I think of fairy dust, star dust, star wishes and then I can pick up and a story will form… Have you thought of your wish?

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The Moon

Whether we know it or not, we are tied into the moon’s phases at all times. It clearly didn’t mean much to me as a child growing up, but I heard that the beach tides depended on the moon’s gravity pull, one day my Father said that to me. We would go to the beach often and he and I marveled at the waves coming in. I loved the tides and the sea gifts that came to me in the way of little shells and smooth moon rocks. I even loved seeing the different types of seaweed as the waves delivered them to my feet. I frolicked in the waves, decorating myself with the seaweed, surfacing with strands of seaweed in my hair as though I was wearing a tiara made up of emerald green poppies strung together on the seaweed. I imagined that I was a mermaid swimming in the ocean without a care in the world, surfacing under a full moon, to relax in the waves as the moon rose higher. I felt lulled by the waves as I jumped through them in Bolinas and again in San Diego, at the first college I attended. It was effortless for me to swim in and under the waves, swimming was second nature to me, without a doubt. Occasionally we would see the moon up in the sky during these beach days. My Father and I watched the moon from our city home rising up over the bay on a fog-less night.

Long into my adulthood, I bore a child and she was born on the night of a full summer moon. In fact, it was a most unbelievable night of screams, some crying like a banshee into the darkness where a pale yellow lamp light of the moon shone down on this hospital. There were so many that a few of us didn’t have any rooms to be hidden in. We were on gurneys in the hallway of the hospital, until the very last bit when we were shoved into a room with horrible orange and silver and pink polkadot wallpaper on the walls, which made me seasick, as I told them to rip it down. The nurse said to the doctor, “It is the moon, that is why she says that.” He replied, “Yes the moon has made all these babies decide to be born tonight, of all nights, we have a full house. We have never had so many babies coming at once, he exclaimed!” There were ten babies born one after the other that night. One baby was a record 14 pounds, and mine was 6.6oz, the smallest that night.

On Long Island on a certain night of the year, when the moon is full, and the crickets are out making their music with their feet, the wings of night birds are the only things you can hear flapping in the air, if you listen very carefully as you sit as still as you can in the sand dunes. I took my little daughter out to witness a full moon rising in the middle of the summer. We sat on the dune with the dune grasses around us, as we watched as the moon rose out of the sea of the Sound, with the iridescent water moving to the rhyme of the tides as the moon pulled the water back and forth, back and forth. It was a lulling summer night and the sea birds chirped now and then, as they passed us, with their wings that fanned the air near our faces. Before long as we sat enjoying such a beautiful sight, the water was teaming with little bodies swimming to shore. We could not tell what they were, but they were all coming in from the Sound and the sea to the east of the island, clamoring over each other, knocking into each other, to the shore right in front of us. Then they were on the beach coming up over to top of each other, their shells knocking against the sand and knocking against each other, a hollow sound echoed in the still air, as they seemed intent on knocking each other out of the way, as they crawled up out of the water onto the beach. There were so many of them coming up out of the water right in front of us, too many to count, the sea teaming with them. Thousands were coming, an army of these ancient beasts. The sea was churning with them, and the beach, the sand landscape was moving as if it was alive. These beasts as ancient as Father Time beat each other with their whip tails and knocked each other as they scraped along the sand and finally they stopped in front of a mound on the sand, just in front of us. We sat still and hardly breathed, as I gathered my daughter carefully into my lap as I held her, with her hands around my neck. I was ready to spring up and run both of us to the dock. Hush hush my darling I whispered in her ear, wasn’t more than a murmur. Then there was a moment of silence as they all stopped moving suddenly. Then we looked at the sky just as the moon rose to the pinnacle in the sky, it was a huge moon with a moon beam pathway that lit up the beach all in front of us was bathed in this iridescent light, in the humid summer night. The mound in the sand in front of us started to move, it twisted one way, and then it twisted the other way, and sideways and it rotated right in front of us, as the sand was being shaken off of the thing rising out of the sand…It was a huge mound in the sand. It was the largest thing which dwarfed all the others. It had a little dance that it did. It rose up and twisted one way, then went down, then rose up and twisted the other way. It did this over and over, like a little dance. Suddenly, The Queen of the Horseshoe Crabs had shaken all the sand off of her and she stood majestically on the mound waving her tail from side to side as she twisted and bobbed up and down. She had been at our feet and she chose to have us witness this phenomenon. The crabs sensed it was their time to move and they clambered ever the more to get over to the Queen. She didn’t mate with them as they came up to her. She pushed them aside, and the rejected ones fought off the others coming up to her. The rejected ones were overpowered and pushed off to the side and banished by the others who clambered over them. She chose only the ones she wanted to mate with and there we were unable to move in any direction for the horseshoe crabs had moved all over the beach and the dunes as we sat captive. That night of all nights was a night to remember with the full moon rising into the magic of the midsummer’s night, which happened to be my daughter’s birthday… she had just turned five years old.

We do not know how strongly we are tied into nature and the moon, until we become witnesses to the magic of the moments of a full moon rising. The moments of my daughter’s birth, as significant as being born under a full moon, and into the ongoing years of watching the moon risings and sensing when things come full swing in the momentum of the moon’s risings, we are the lucky ones to be in the moment of time when things serendipitously happen… In the night sky above where I live, the moon is ever present and I believe that she is as special as a Goddess. I sing a little song to the moon when I see her. It is about the moon sees me, and she sees the ones that I long to see, and the ones that I love. I ask the moon to take care of the ones I love as she rules the skies and while she has the ability to pull on our heart strings through unseen bonds, let us again witness her magic of effervescence and iridescence as she charms all that is under her moon beam spells.

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