Finding a word, finding a way, getting safe passage, forward movement, sometimes a type of paralysis happens, and we don’t know why, but we just freeze up and we stop for whatever reason impedes us. It can be a day, a month, or perhaps years before some people can move on from a place, a relationship, or change a habit. The paralysis is probably a way of allowing the mental process to block forward movement, because of some emotional pain associated with the change. Perhaps paralysis of the mind changes the way a person thinks. It must be painful to change one’s patterns. Perhaps decision-making that affects the psyche in small ways can seem overwhelming, but then I have found if you make a list and then move through it line by line, and address each line as a goal for part of the list, then it is possible to move forward, inch by inch, climbing out of the mental snafus that arrest all of us at one time or another. The change may not be in leaps and bounds, yet, any small change will allow one to shake off the paralysis and move forward.
In speaking about moving forward, we have all heard of taking little steps, and then sensing what we feel and then moving a little further along, slowly but surely. People write in journals to track their feelings, and perhaps over time, the timing of those feelings are absorbed by other things, thus becoming minimized, or those feelings or issues become paramount, and something has to give. Moving forward in a sense of timing –always– has it’s own timing within everyone’s lives. We can’t move or push anyone it always has to be his/her idea to change or to move forward. Maybe timing is perhaps another way to describe the issue or mental paralysis or inertia. They always say, “Timing is everything.” Who can predict when the timing feels right, it just happens. Is this as a result of serendipity? What causes the timing to work when for some unexplained reason or the timing was at an impasse prior to that moment?
Time and flow can be said for almost anything we do, because everything we do takes time, and one person’s time may not be the same as another person’s timing. Perhaps if it occurs in one person’s time or it skips over into another dimension or shifts the future, because it (timing) is not in the present, timing occurs at some point in time, either before or after the present. Who could tell what time the occurrence of whose timing is supposed to be considered the right time? With time and flow sometimes one just has to stop everything and get completely away in order to think and to let some time pass prior to making a decision. We all used to talk about “brain breaks” and now I see the purpose in taking time off to not think about anything in particular but to just let the time flow by. Finding time, getting out of one’s environment can change the picture, clear up the inconsistencies, and perhaps it can allow changes to occur and while revitalizing one’s spirit. Perhaps leaving one’s environment and going to another place allows one to change their perspective because then we are seeing out of another lens with a different view. We see things, breath the air, have coffee elsewhere, sleep outside our realities, and perhaps this change of environment has the power to change our psyche.
If we are true to ourselves, we need to be in the moment all of the time. It is difficult for me to live in the moment every moment because I try to plan things and I always get caught up in a thicket of realities which then pare down to another sort of paralysis of being the only one who has to make all of the decisions, because I am single parent. There isn’t anyone to bounce an idea off of, except in some circumstances I do resort to my good friends (who have raised teenagers) to lend me an ear. I sometimes wonder if I chose the right decision, but rather than staying in a paralysis and not doing anything at all, I plow ahead, perhaps jumping off too soon, but at least I made some sort of forward motion.
I tend to jump into things, whole-heartedly, sometimes without looking where I am going, and I have been known to give it my all. I do feel that ignorance is bliss, and so when the naysayers pop your ignorant reality or try to dissuade you from following your dreams -try to ignore them and stay in your moment, where you gather your own empowerment and stick with whatever it is that you want to do, because in the end whether it is your paralysis or it is your impatience keep to the fundamentals of pleasing yourself and, more simply put, — try not to please the world. By pleasing yourself invariably, it is always about timing, and it has to be on your terms to move on, to write, to exercise, to promote yourself and to get that promotion you know you deserve. It is not about them, it is about yourself. So I am working on myself, writing every day because it pleases me to formulate my thoughts and then to execute a paper to my satisfaction. I wrote for professors, I wrote for newsletters, I wrote for corporations and also I wrote for my marine salvage monger-husband. In each of these entities, one is always writing to someone else’s expectations. While I was married to the marine salvage monger, I spent years in a quandary and wondered privately about my writing. Was the timing off? Could he acknowledge that what was important to me was not just about writing his bids and contracts, selling his equipment or outfitting the rig for a salvage job? He never really understood my need to compose and write for myself or how much time it takes to try to get things published.
So for all of us, timing is everything and being in the moment is everything and I suppose that time just exists no matter what, we can’t turn back the clocks, and we should just do what it is that we love to do and to keep on doing it — no matter what others think. It is awfully hard to go up against a spouse who wants your whole attention all of the time. It is exhausting, and if you aren’t paying close attention to them, they wonder why you are taking your time to do what your passion is. Never-mind that it is your time to create something, in words, in illustrations, using your hands to craft something, or whether you want to spend time being more athletic in one form or another. Whatever our passions are, we need to be able to express ourselves, to live in our moments and to be productive.
Probably the paralysis we sometimes feel is because we have been denied our time to replenish our passions, rekindle our inner most spiritual gift. We have been held back, stymied, denied a simple pleasure because the timing was off. Perhaps we had a responsibility that we had to fulfill to another person. Or we were made to feel guilty because our responsibility was to take care of them and to forget ourselves. Perhaps that was part of the control feature that was built into the spring-loaded time allowance that pervades our daily lives.
There is that old adage: “Time heals all.” I suppose that it does depending on how much time has gone by and whether the wound can be healed, as they say much of the time, it has to heal from the inside to the outside. Perhaps what is meant by that phrase is not only the curing of the damaged skin layers below the wound, but it must also be the spirit or the soul of the individual where the healing must come from within also. A long time ago I wouldn’t have made that connection that we have to heal from within before we become well. It must have something to do with our spiritual connections that also impede us at times even though we don’t realize that we are mired in another dimension or that possibly something grips us from the past. The sequences of the healing process are many, and it is definitely part of the timing that is of the essence.
“Timing is of the essence,” this phrase is another one of my favorite sayings. It appears prevalently in contracts, but what does it really mean? The cost of time – the origination of time, moving forward to designating that now is the time to fulfill and expedite the contract between two or more parties. Probably if we all took more time to live in the moment and decide or act in each moment because the moments of time become the essence of our lives. It flows in forward motion, like a river, time moves where it wants to. As time moves forward, this movement is its nature. The essence of time seems only relevant when one gets older, because when we are young, others are taking care of us, and we haven’t any conception of time. Why is it that as we age, it seems that time speeds up, especially when we look back to see how far we have come. It is always about time. Timing is everything.
Copyright Helen Holden-Gladsky 2010